


Aimless (The Heart is an Arrow)

by springparasol



Series: An Elegant Murder [1]
Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alpha Jesper Fahey, Alpha Matthias Helvar, Alpha/Beta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Beta Inej Ghafa, Beta Wylan Van Eck, Beta/Omega, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Multi, Omega Kaz Brekker, Omega Nina Zenik, for the most part (see description)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2020-12-09 15:15:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20996918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springparasol/pseuds/springparasol
Summary: Essentially, a self-indulgent character study of the Crows along with some societal commentary in the form of omegaverse. Generally canon-compliant, except for one part at the end since we’re all in denial about it anyways.(Main Story)





	1. Kaz

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first proper fic, so please be kind. A few story events have been moved around timeline-wise for ease of writing/reading.

The cool Ketterdam air wafted across the Barrel in gusts of fog. The sun shone brightly through the grey clouds clustered above the city. And a boy awoke with angry red marks running down his forearm, self-inflicted during slumber.

Kaz Brekker scowled out the window nearest his bed as he forced his pulse to return to a steady rhythm. Luckily, he had claimed the entirety of the Slat’s uppermost level for his personal office and residence so there was no fear of being intruded upon without notice. That said, if he didn’t dispel the pungent distress pheromones clustered in the room, it would cause unnecessary heachaches later. Kaz had an image as a leader in the Dregs to maintain so any uncertainty was a weakness that had to be masked. More annoyingly, Jesper would grow fussy. Kaz hated when Jesper became fussy, particularly when it could be traced back to a biological imperative stemming from their secondary genders. It reminded him all too well of a time in the past, a time where the world seemed full of dreams and he had had the luxury of a carefree existence under the watch of his alpha brother. But that tenderness, along with Jordie, had long since washed away in the waves of the Kerch Harbor. Pekka Rollins had played them like puppets, that when the plague had swept through the city, the two were carried along in its wake. 

Brick by brick. The mantra served as a grounding point for Kaz, a light at the end of the tunnel, dispelling all doubt and replacing it with steely cold conviction. He raked a hand through his dark hair as he rose to his feet. Pekka Rollins would fall, and he would do so by Kaz’s hand. Any other outcome was unthinkable. 

Dispassionately, he pulled the gloves up to his wrists. Some may conclude that they served as a sort of security item, the way a blanket might for a young child. Kaz preferred to view them as armor: a tool that made him stronger… and enabled him to grab firmly to his goals, unyielding to any obstacles.

Taking hold of his cane, Kaz couldn’t help but scowl when he opened the door to find Inej leaning against the wall of his office. Her usually subdued beta scent was absent, likely from scent blockers used during espionage.

“Wraith,” he said, in lieu of a proper greeting.

She pushed herself off the wall nimbly, not paying heed to the remnants of distress pheromones leaking through the doorway. He knew she had noticed, although they both pretended she didn’t.

“Jesper’s run up his debts again,” she said simply.

Kaz rubbed his temples. Last night, in order to smooth things over with the alpha after Big Bolliger’s treachery was revealed, Kaz had given Jesper free range at the Crow Club for the night, both as a distraction from his bruised pride as well as to put the sniper in a better mood. “I am aware. It was authorized.”

Inej simply raised her eyebrows but did not pry further. 

Kaz calmly scanned the figure sheets from the day before. It had become a habit by then, nearly as natural as breathing; if there was nothing else that could be counted on in the world, one could always turn to cold, hard cash.

Inej cleared her throat softly, causing Kaz to glance up at her. “The supplies have been procured for the journey.”

Nodding briefly, with a hand on his crow-head cane, Kaz rose. “Then we best gather the crew. The Ice Court waits for no man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also for reference, the Crows are made up of two of each dynamic: alpha (Jesper and Matthias), beta (Wylan and Inej), and omega (Kaz and Nina). The dynamics of other characters will be revealed as the story progresses.


	2. Matthias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While the general plot will stay the same for the most part, I did improvise new dialogue (or at least alter some preexisting ones) for my own purposes and because reusing all of Bardugo’s wouldn’t be original. 
> 
> Also a quick disclaimer: as he begins with certain prejudices against Grisha and about women’s place in society in the original books, Matthias will have some outdated beliefs about the roles of the different dynamics. However, like his book counterpart, part of his future character development will be to learn to grow past these notions.

Matthias questioned why he was here. Frankly, he questioned a lot of things, but focusing on Brekker and his ludicrous plan to break into the Ice Court helped keep his mind off emotions which were far less easily untangled. A plan that hinged upon Matthias’ willingness to commit treason against his homeland. _Again_, he reminded himself bitterly.

Matthias was being held in a windowless gambling parlor, and found that he was tied to a chair by his wrists and ankles when he came to after the ordeal at Hellgate. There were some familiar faces in the rabble the demon before him had gathered for the proposition. The lithe Sulli girl- Inej, her name was- leaned against the black and crimson walls, Jesper from the escape boat had his long legs tucked up onto a chair, an auburn-haired boy sketched at a card table while absently chewing his thumb. And her. Nina Zenik, barely five feet in front of him. The witch who had incessantly tormented and, though he loathed to admit, tantalized his thoughts for the better part of a year was now close enough for her familiar scent of roses and warm waffles to invade his senses. Matthias had once found it pleasant. Now, the saccharine odour left only bitterness behind, a cloying poison that slowly ate away at him.

So instead, he willed his attention to the gaunt figure offering him a role in the burgeoning heist, centering around the retrieval of a political prisoner for his formula of the deadly drug, _jurda parem_. Kaz Brekker was clearly the leader of the bunch, and despite his secondary gender, the others seemed perfectly content to leave the logistics of the plan up to his judgment. After his long-winded proposal, Kaz leaned back against the edge of the card table. “How about it, Helvar? Four million _kruge_ is a hefty sum. It could certainly buy you passage back to Fjerda if you wished to return.”

Matthias set his jaw angrily. “Absolutely not.” The insinuation that his betrayal could be _bought_, and further, that he would even be welcome back in his homeland made his blood boil. He couldn’t help the slight growl that seeped into his response.

As an omega, the sound should have caused Brekker to flinch or at least avert his eyes, but the demon merely tilted his head to the side in question. “I don’t suppose you’re the type to be swayed by wealth. Yet all men have ambitions. Surely you must desire something.”

Jesper, the other alpha, made to stand. He held his arms out in an almost placating manner. “Kaz, maybe you shouldn’t-”

Brekker shot a glare in Jesper’s direction until he returned to his seat. “If nothing else, then your participation will ensure that this valuable information won’t fall into the hands of the Shu or the Ravkan army. That at least, would seem to align with your goals.”

Though he was pointedly avoiding looking at Nina, Matthias could feel her eyes sharply on his back. The gaze burned him, searing his conscience and reopening old wounds whose sting had only just begun to dull. A twisted idea came to him, not even particularly satisfying, but a quick solution to the conflicting thoughts that had awakened upon his tenuous freedom. He lifted his chin and locked eyes with the Bastard of the Barrel. “I refuse to accompany you on your fool’s errand. I will, however, advise you on the layout of the Ice Court, at least enough to make it past the first defenses.”

Kaz narrowed his eyes warily. “Nothing in this world comes free. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t know this to be true. So tell me, what will this information cost me?”

Matthias grimaced. “You can keep your filthy money, Brekker. I ask for nothing in return.” He turned to the witch for the first time in the conversation. “Nothing except the chance to kill Nina Zenik.”

A silence filled the room. Jesper shot a skeptical glance at the others. Inej took a step back, revulsion clear on her features. The sketching boy’s head snapped up and he dropped his pencil. Kaz looked unperturbed, and Matthias had the sinking suspicion that he had expected, perhaps was even banking on, that particular answer. And Nina merely looked on at a place past his face, her expression giving away none of her inner thoughts. Once, Matthias had mistakenly believed that he may have understood her. Now, he knew better, had had the lesson branded onto his soul.

Kaz cleared his throat. “An interesting proposition. However, your offer is not amenable. In exchange, I am prepared to offer something far more satisfying.”

Matthias’ answer was short and clipped. “There is nothing else I covet.” In truth, he was not certain this was truly the case but he forced those thoughts to the back of his mind.

A crooked grin had begun to form on Kaz’s lips. “Not even the chance to become a _drüskelle_ once more?”

This time it was Matthias’ eyes that narrowed. Of course the thought had crossed his mind, particularly in the lonely nights at Hellgate after suffering Nina’s betrayal. The thought of returning to his homeland, where he had once belonged, where everyone had their roles, where witches did not corrupt the masses with their trickery. Where he knew what was right and what was not. Where he didn’t feel compelled to question himself.

But that life no longer held a place for him. He had thrown it all away when he went with Nina, when he trusted her, when he ignored every sensible instinct in his mind telling him to leave the witch to die. As much as his heart rued his foolishness and longed for the familiar comfort of the ice and the wolves, he could never go back.

Seeing the disbelief etched across his features, Kaz gestured towards Nina. “She has agreed to recant her charges of slaving and will serve under charges of perjury.”

Inej held up a small piece of parchment for him to read. It stated in both Kerch and Fjerdan a pardon for all charges against him and a promise of transport back to his homeland.

Almost against his will, the first seeds of hope began to take root in his chest. As if to convince himself, Matthias scowled at Kaz before saying, “She can’t be trusted you know. None of them can.”

With a chuckle, Kaz began to walk away from Matthias’ chair. “Do not let that concern you. All that matters is that you do your part. Whether or not we capture Bo Yul-Bayur, as long as your intel proves useful, the pardon is yours.”

His gut roiled in protest, but Matthias managed a curt nod.

“Alright, now that that business is taken care of, we should be able to untie you,” Kaz continued. “I believe you’re intelligent enough to know that any resistance would be most unwise.”

After another quick nod, Inej cut the ropes binding his wrists and ankles to the chair.

“Wonderful. You are already acquainted with Nina, and you met Jesper, our sharpshooter, and Inej, the Wraith, last night at Hellgate. He-” Kaz gestured to the sketching boy. “-Is Wylan, our demolitions expert.”

Inej raised her dark eyebrows at this. “Raske is better.”

“He’s not better. He’s reckless,” Wylan countered petulantly.

“Raske is more reliable. Why aren’t we using him?” Jesper cut in. Inej nodded her agreement.

“I wasn’t in need of your advice,” Kaz responded sharply. “Besides, he serves a much more useful purpose than simple skill at flint and steel.”

Nina frowned skeptically. “And that is?”

Kaz smiled smugly. “Allow me to introduce Wylan Van Eck, the son of Jan Van Eck and our insurance on thirty million _kruge_.”

Wylan’s jaw dropped as the rest of the group turned to look at him with new understanding. And Matthias was realizing, with belated clarity, what sort of mess he had just roped himself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first proper fic, so please be kind. A few story events have been moved around timeline-wise for ease of writing.


	3. Jesper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was truly blown away by the wonderful support shown for the story! Thank you so much!
> 
> This chapter I will be continuing the trend of replacing or paraphrasing dialogue when I can to help preserve originality and flow. That said, some parts are simply too short or too memorable for me to defend replacing, so those will be left as they are. I hope that in later chapters, once the introductions are finished, I’ll be able to add more of my own flavour to the writing. In the meantime, please bear with it.
> 
> Also, in regards to upcoming chapters: there are strong textual hints in the original books that Jesper had one-sided feelings for Kaz before he fell for Wylan. I have decided to keep this in the story for accuracy and drama, but Jesper/Wylvan and Kaz/Inej are endgame, so please don’t worry about potential long-term consequences.

At the revelation of Wylan’s true identity, Jesper couldn’t help but burst into laughter. Whether it was wholly incredulous or partly relieved that there was a tangible  _ reason _ Kaz had kept this dangerously naive kid around when he wouldn’t even trust Jesper with the knowledge of Big Bolliger’s treachery... 

He turned to the others, mood suddenly buoyed. “Well that clears things up. He’s a councilman’s kid, that’s all.”

The others seemed to be just as surprised. Except Inej, that is. Jesper felt himself deflate a bit. He wasn’t shocked that the Wraith had been let in on the truth, but he also couldn’t help the slight twinge of envy that tightened in his chest. 

Meanwhile, Wylan looked as if the carpet had just been pulled from under his feet. In a way, Jesper supposed it had. Wylan turned to face Kaz despondently. “You knew?”

Kaz raised a brow. “Why do you think you’re here?”

“I’m good at demo,” Wylan offered. 

“You’re passable at demo. You’re excellent at hostage,” Kaz countered. “Ever had your pocket picked? Been mugged in an alley? Hung over the side of a bridge with your head in the canal? Been beaten until you couldn’t walk? You haven’t, have you. Why do you think that is, Wylan?”

Wylan opened his mouth, appeared to reconsider whatever it was he was going to say, and then set his lips in a thin line. Saints, the kid was green. He’d probably never spent a day outside the gates of the family estate before running away. How he’d survived long enough in the Barrel for Kaz to pick him off the streets was a mystery they may never know.

Musings aside, Jesper supposed it was time to get back to the real issues at hand. “Irrelevant of the merchling’s origins, we should still take Raske and leave the baby here behind on lockdown.”

Inej nodded. “Raske is the better demo man.” Despite their differences at times, Jesper was glad to have her support. While Kaz’s plans were usually sound, it was generally up to the two of them to dissuade any truly outrageous ideas, like taking Wylan with them would be.

Kaz’s gloved knuckles gripped the crow head of his cane tightly. “I don’t trust Raske.”

“And you trust Wylan  _ more _ ? Besides serving as a hostage, what could he possibly contribute? He’d only be a liability!” Jesper argued.

“I’m right here you know!” Wylan cut in. “I’m not useless! I’ve been to the Ice Court before with my father for an embassy dinner. Can you say the same?”

Kaz nodded, unbothered. “That’s right. He can keep you honest, Helvar. His sketching isn’t awful either, and we’ll want a map before we even attempt to infiltrate.”

Jesper shook his head. “Must be all those fancy tutors. I bet you play piano too, don’t you?”

“Flute,” Wylan mumbled defensively.

“Even better. Maybe you can play us a ditty as we sail across the seas,” Jesper couldn’t help the facetious tone from slipping into his voice.

Kaz shot him another glare. “I believe Wylan was about to draw us a map of the Ice Court. You  _ were _ the one who was so eager to have him prove his usefulness, weren’t you?” 

Kaz was usually good at controlling his scent, but over their time working together, Jesper had learned to pick up on the slight spikes it took when he was feeling particularly strongly. Usually it was from irritation, and it seemed that a combination of dealing with Matthias’ resistance and the fallout of Wylan’s identity reveal were quickly pushing his mood in that direction. Frankly, the two weren’t doing wonders for Jesper’s own disposition, so he decided to let it go for now. 

Instead of protesting, Jesper leaned back with his hands behind his head. “Alright, Merchling, why don’t you show us the skills you seem to be so proud of?”

“Gladly,” said Wylan, picking up his pen and taking out a nicer piece of parchment than the one he had been sketching with before.

In the end, it turned out that the kid did have some use after all. The group spent the next half-hour watching as Wylan transformed Matthias’ descriptions into a detailed map of the Ice Court of which its complexity Jesper was beginning to appreciate with a whole new understanding. Quips about the structure resembling a cake quickly devolved into a not-quite-friendly banter between Nina and Matthias regarding the ceremony for the initiation of new  _ drüskelle _ .

Almost despite himself, Jesper felt his excitement building the more the risk was talked up. He was always one for a challenge: anything whose outcome couldn’t be reliably predicted sent a thrill through his veins. 

It was this very quality that had landed him in the Dregs in the first place. A young, restless college student from the wild frontier of Novyi Zem, one night of boredom leading him to the gambling parlors of the Barrel… needless to say, he had been hooked from the start. The first win had been a high so enticing he’d been chasing it ever since. Luck had not graced him much since then, and Jesper had fallen quite deep into debt. The times he regret it most strongly were actually not when he felt his empty pockets; rather they occurred when he thought of his father, back on the farm, working hard so that Jesper could get an education, because he truly believed that his son was destined for greatness. The thought of how  _ disappointed _ he would be had kept Jesper forging letters from a university he had long since dropped out of, in the vain hope that he might be able to one day measure up to the man his father believed him to be. And, he reasoned, surely four million  _ kruge _ couldn’t hurt his journey to get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will admit, I’m not entirely satisfied with how this chapter came out. I guess I just feel discouraged because since we’re still in the introduction phase of the story, I feel like I’m a bit restricted creativity wise (it probably also doesn’t help that Kaz is the “voice” that comes easiest to me; Matthias at this point in the story is fairly one-note so he’s not very difficult, but other characters that begin with complex motivations but are very different from my own personality like Jesper are harder for me to write I suppose). Anyways, once again, thank you to everyone who took the time to read this.


	4. Inej

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, I think I will have finally gotten enough “introductory material” out of the way to begin improvising and adding some more of my own touches to the story. For now though, the chapter will still follow pretty closely with Bardugo’s (although I will insert my own version of the dialogue when it makes sense).
> 
> Also, trigger warning for implied past rape (given Inej's backstory), but no details will be given and it will be handled in a similar manner to Bardugo's writing

Inej liked to think herself a valuable member of the Dregs. Even if one did not acknowledge this, they had to at least admit that the Wraith was certainly more capable than the typical underlings largely kept in the dark and only trusted with menial tasks. As much as her conscience bristled at the state of her life at times, Inej found that she had begun to take an unwitting pride in her work, despicable as it may be. Perhaps this was why Kaz’s offhand statement that she was free to abandon the mission ruffled her so much. Her dark eyes narrowed, and the words slipped out before she had finished thinking them. “Matthias isn’t the only irreplaceable member of this crew, Kaz. You need me.”

Crossing his arms across his chest, Kaz met her gaze. “Your skills are valuable, I grant you that. However, no one is irreplaceable.” A shadow crossed his expression briefly before it flickered back to its usual mask of aloof wariness. If Inej weren’t so used to his company by now, she might have thought she imagined it. “You’re not the first spider who’s crawled around The Barrel and you certainly won’t be the last. You’d do well to remember this if you want to keep your share of the haul.”

A tranquil fury settled in her chest, but Inej loathed to let Kaz believe he’d won the argument and showing him how much the dismissal had bothered her was certain to lead to that. So she had turned on her heel and left, not even sparing a glance back. Kaz had made no move to follow, and while not unexpected, served to fuel her indignation further.

_ I could just leave, _ Inej reasoned to herself as she pushed through the crowds milling about in the streets. Her skills were finely tuned, surely enough to stow away on a ship out of Kerch and certainly to pick enough pockets to survive until she figured out her next move. They would never find her, and she doubted they would even spare the resources to try. 

There would be no repercussions for herself, but that did not hold true for Kaz. Per Haskell would likely have Kaz take the fall for her disloyalty and would be made to pay off the indenture in her stead. The thought bothered Inej for some reason. 

However, the “haul” in question, as Kaz had so aptly put it, was not insignificant pocket change. If she used a part of her share to pay off the contract, there would be no debt owed, and she could board the next ship out of the harbor with a clean conscience free from guilt. This plan, while slower and certainly more risky, left a better taste in her mouth. If done in this manner, neither of them would get the short end of the deal and could part as amicably as possible. Yet this brought another subject to mind: Inej did not know why she cared so much about what happened to Kaz Brekker. If their roles were reversed, would he waste a moment considering whether his self-interests would affect her? Probably not, Inej thought with a tinge of bitterness. What could she expect from someone who regularly called greed his “servant and lever”?

Almost unconsciously, Inej found that her feet had taken her to West Stave. She shivered a little, though not from the cool sea breeze wafting in from the harbour. The Menagerie was here, and the memories of her time there never failed to send her heart racing and her adrenaline running high. Inej had never come by this part of town alone since the Dregs had bought her contract. 

The streets were lined with onlookers, their faces obscured by masks and veils. Anonymous in the sea of brothels, with a carefree life to go back to once they’d had their fun and not a thought to spare for the workers left behind. The whole spectacle made her sick.

She had met Kaz here too back when she was at the Menagerie. He’d been there when she entered the Salon, dressed severely in grey with both hands resting on the crow’s head cane. A pit of dread had settled in her stomach. The omega had visited once before, and to Inej’s surprise had merely taken a seat beside her and questioned her about seemingly innocuous topics. But this was Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, and Inej knew full well anything he wanted to know had far more sinister purposes. Perhaps hope had clouded her mind when she offered to make herself useful, offered to gather any information he wanted, offered him anything to escape this wretched prison. So when she saw his austere profile standing in the Salon, she presumed she had been double-crossed. However, that very day she had left the Menagerie with a new life ahead, her contract not void but signed under a different name for a different occupation. 

By now, Inej had made it past the Menagerie and could finally feel her heartbeat begin to ease up. However, a cloying, saccharine scent wafted past her, and a hand gripped her wrist as she spun around in alarm. “Hello, little lynx.”

Tante Heleen, the despicable owner of the Menagerie. The omega was just as Inej had remembered: gaudy and overly preened but no less threatening than before. She snatched her arm free, but her path was quickly blocked by Cobbet, Heleen’s favoured guard.

Inej could feel her breaths becoming shallow. “That’s not my name.”

Heleen’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Lynx is your only name. You’ll wear my silks again, I promise.” Her teeth gleamed like fangs. “Enjoy your night.”

The two brushed past her, and Inej pushed through the crowd in the opposite direction, head spinning. She began recounting the names of her saints as she ran her fingers along the hilts of her aptly-named daggers, a small reassurance that she was no longer powerless. No, she was the Wraith, and the best spy in the Barrel, no matter what Kaz said. 

The docks came into view, and she spotted the rest of the crew making preparations for the journey. They were all dressed to be inconspicuous, and even Kaz would have looked humbled if it weren’t for his haughty posture and his unmistakable crow’s head cane. The sight caused her irritation to flare up again. Inej didn’t know what she wanted from Kaz, but she had decided that a simple apology would do for now. She made her way towards them intending to voice her complaints, but before she could take a step forward, the schooner moored behind them combusted and Inej was swept off her feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I’m sorry about the long wait! I’m incredibly touched at all of the positive feedback, and it is very encouraging (especially as a first-time fic writer)!
> 
> For those wondering about Heleen: there seems to be a tendency to make one dynamic the antagonist to suit the theme of a particular story, but I figure, like real life, there are bad people of all sorts. That’s why I made sure to have all dynamics represented on both the hero’s side (although anti-hero is probably more accurate) and the villain’s side. Plus, variety just makes things more interesting, doesn’t it?
> 
> Also, this story is NOT dropped. School has simply been exhausting and hectic lately. I will certainly continue writing for it when things have calmed down a bit.


End file.
